To the One Who Made Me a Mom

Because of you, I am a mama. Yes, you have a little brother, but YOU were the very first one to give me that title, and it’s hands down the most important and treasured one I’ll ever hold. Because of you, I learned what really is important in life. Not work, not things, not big houses, just being. You have taught me that the smallest victories should be celebrated just as much as the biggest. Like the time that you were three and in the ICU for the second time, fighting for your life, and you finally gave us a wet diaper after two days of nothing. Whoever thought a wet diaper would be something to celebrate?! But it meant you had turned a corner and we were able to start climbing out of the deep, dark, terrifying hole we had been in. Or the summer before you started first grade and you made it all the way across the monkey bars by yourself. I cried right there on the playground, tears of happiness, tears of victory. It meant you were finally getting stronger, and you were able to be doing the things other kids your age had already been doing for years.

Part of me is so very thankful that you were as little as you were when you were sick, because you didn’t know how to worry about it. You didn’t know any different. It was your life. It was your norm.  I remember sharing with another mom that I don’t know how they got through it with their teenage child who was fully aware and capable of understanding the gravity of what they were up against. And she shared with me how heartbreaking it must be to see your baby (literally) having to go through such a grown-up thing. But man, did you ever handle it. You made it look so easy so many times. And you managed to be happy, despite all of it.

Mother’s Day, to me, isn’t about flowers and candy and breakfast in bed. To me, it’s about showing off what a ridiculously amazing little boy I get to call my son. To say that I am proud of you is a massive understatement. I need a word that is bigger than proud, if there is such a word. From the day that you came into this world, 7 weeks early, you proved that you were a fighter and there wasn’t much, if anything, that was going to keep you down. You have endured more in your short 9 years here than many adults ever will in their lifetime, and you have done it with the strength of 100 men.

You can’t possibly know how much love I hold for you in my heart. You are my light, my happiness, my world.

Love,

Mama